Get It Through Your Head
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: If there's one thing that Gears and RRF troopers have in common it's that they rarely, if ever use helmets. The wisdom of such a choice remains to be seen.


**Get It Through Your Head**

"I'm telling you man, you should wear a helmet."

"That's great kid."

"No, I'm serious. I mean, it filters dust, protects your head and-..."

The kid shut up. That tended to happen when one of your number got taken out by a sniper rifle.

All in all, Jan Templar supposed worse things could happen than having some helmeted rookie lecturing him on about how helmets were so great, that they were the be all and end all of protection. The problem with that analogy however, was that it appeared that the inhabitants of Sera didn't know the first thing about protection. Not against a potential helghast attack (even though Alpha Centauri was said to be a universe away and only a crossover could bring the two together...whatever that meant) and certainly not against these...Locust-creatures that came from underground rather than in space and had technology on a similar level as well. Lower than dirt, and about as advanced.

Then again, neither were these Gears. After all, what kind of advanced human society would use _chainsaws _to defeat their enemies?

"So, like I was saying, helmets are great," the kid continued...what was his name? Anthony? "Notice how all the Locust are without helmets?"

"Kind of..." the RRF trooper admitted, ducking down into the trench to load another clip into his M82-G, a.k.a. the only firearm that was on this battlefield that had been built by someone _sane_. "There's so many of the bastards, I haven't focussed-..."

"And since they have no helmets...well, boom. Longshots do their job too well."

The CO had to agree with the rook for once, even if his head was exposed while he reloaded his chainsaw gun (or Lancer, whatever). However primitive these Serans were, despite Jan's bewilderment that such a society could have come together in the first place, he had to admit, some of their weapons were useful. The Longshot sniper rifle had been taking the concept of a headshot to a whole new limit, with drone heads exploding left, right and centre. If Luger had got her hands on such a weapon...

_Luger...damnit, she was even more annoying than this guy._

"So mister, why don't the RRF wear helmets?"

_...scratch that._

Jan wanted this to be over soon. The Serans seemed to have an aversion to dropships for some reason (by an edict of Epic Games...whatever that was) but no-one said anything about UCN cruisers turning up in orbit and sending these Locust back to whatever hell spawned them. He wanted it to be over so this damn kid wouldn't be around to ask him the same questions that every branch of the ISA and UCN asked of the RRF at every opportunity.

"You know kid, considering that you're the only...Gear around here wearing a helmet, you seem awfully sure of yourself."

Carmine looked at him...or, rather, the captain supposed he was looking at him. With those big blue glowing eyes as part of the helmet design, he supposed that the private could be looking anywhere. And indeed, looking anywhere but at the RRF trooper might have been preferable. Maybe Carmine would realize that he was indeed a minority in the whole "helmets are great" business and shut the hell up. Maybe-...

"I wouldn't worry about the other Gears, trooper...whatever a trooper is. I'd just worry about yourself."

"I'm fine, thanks," Jan grunted, firing a grenade at an approaching Boomer before it could fire one of its own. In the next instant, Captain Templar's statement of being fine was still valid. Any statement on the Boomer's part ceased to be.

"But you're not fine," Carmine insisted. "Your head's exposed, you have no helmet, you-...

_Oh, just get it through your head that-..._

**Boom!**

Jan ducked down into the trench. Someone had fired a Longshot and judging from the contrail of its projectile, it had been fired at him. Or rather, fired at Carmine. Or, rather, fired _into _Carmine, leaving a big bloody hole in his head. A head that had been covered by a helmet and still was, despite the dent in it.

_Told you to get it through your head..._Jan reflected sadly, staring down at the corpse of the man whose face he'd never seen and given the effects Longshots had on one's visage, probably never would. _Didn't mean it like that though..._

Still, at least he had peace and quiet now. At least he could shoot these Locust at will and look forward to getting back to Vekta. He could-...

"Hey sir, where's your helmet?"

_Carmine?_

Jan span round to the corpse, daring to believe that it was the source of the voice. Heck, Locusts, Serans, _chainsaws_, he didn't see it as that farfetched. Yet as another Gear slid down into the trench beside him, a Gear that looked exactly like Carmine, Jan could see how mistaken he was. Both in the source of the voice, and the hope that he'd have some peace.

"You trying to get yourself killed?" the captain exclaimed, the name "Sanchez" coming into his mind for some reason. "Who are you?"

"Private Benjamin Carmine sir," the doppelganger stated. "And I need to ask you something."

"...what?"

"Why aren't you wearing a helmet?"

* * *

_A/N_

_As usual, this was a crossover based on similarities between two medias, in this case the common helmet/lack of one gag in both series. All I can conclude is that they make little difference..._


End file.
